


In Remembrance : Chanbaek

by starlight (byunmajestic)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, ChanBaek - Freeform, Just some after break up thoughts, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 14:01:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15973790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byunmajestic/pseuds/starlight
Summary: Winter along with it brought coldness and a feeling of pessimism to Baekhyun, and it also brought with it memories of days he wished never happened.





	In Remembrance : Chanbaek

**“Unhappy memories are persistent. They're specific, and it's the details that refuse to leave us alone. Though a happy memory may stay with you just as long as one that makes you miserable, what you remember softens over time. What you recall is simply that you were happy, not necessarily the individual moments that brought about your joy.**

**But the memory of something painful does just the opposite. It retains its original shape, all bony fingers and pointy elbows. Every time it returns, you get a quick poke in the eye or jab in the stomach. The memory of being unhappy has the power to hurt us long after the fact. We feel the injury anew each and every time we think of it.”**  
**― Cameron Dokey**

 

 **_When the rain falls and the music flows I think of you_ **  
**_The night when you left it was raining like this_ **  
**_When the rain falls and the music flows I think of you_ **  
**_The night when you left it was raining like this_ **

 

Those lines, they always hit home. Everytime Baekhyun heard it- it always hit home and it always made him think about the old days. It wasn’t like he wasn’t happy or didn’t like his life the way it is now - to be honest, he was actually very happy right at this moment. He had friends who matched his mind, with whom he could be weird as much as his heart wanted. They would do all sorts of things together, well mostly gaming and binge watching animes all day, occasionally going out on trips and crashing into parties. He was more happy, as happy as a twenty three years could be, in between studies and having fun. But still it always felt like a part of him was missing, like he wasn’t complete. Baekhyun sighed and rolled back on his bed. He shouldn’t be feeling this way, whatever he was feeling, he shouldn’t let things bring his mood down. His mood right now didn’t at all match his happy and cheerful personality, if anyone from class saw him right now, they will think it was another person, save for the looks. Baekhyun blamed it all on the rain, yes he liked rain but he was hating it today. It’s been raining continuously since early morning, and it was now late at night. He couldn’t even go out and none of his friends came over, and staying alone only meant more ruining of his mood. It wasn’t like he didn’t try to feel better, but today felt like everything in his surrounding took up a challenge to make him feel more miserable, as if he wasn’t having hard times lately because of his irritating mood swings; again it’s the season’s fault, not Baekhyun’s. Curse it all for raining all day. Baekhyun closed his eyes and let his mind indulge more into the lyrics, if it was going to make him feel all melancholy than he should get to the end of it. If he was a bit lucky he could fall asleep at the very least.

But as expected, luck wasn’t on his side tonight. Baekhyun tried and tried to fall asleep but the sound of rain hitting the roof of his house and the occasional sounds of the thunder wasn’t helping at all. with another big sigh Baekhyun plugged in the earphones and put the sound on high volume, letting his mind be filled with nothing but the lyrics and beautiful melody of the song.

 

_“Baekhyun,” he heard someone call his name, as he was turning to the direction of his class. His voice was deep and husky, the kind that makes you feel goosebumps and also kind of soothing inside. Baekhyun turned back, and his nose almost hit the chest of someone, boy was he tall. He stepped back a little, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable because of the huge height difference. It wasn’t like he was short or something, this guy was plain giant, he had long limbs, arms included. “You are Baekhyun right?” the guy sounded a bit confused as the person he called out for was now only gawking at him. “Yeah, who are you?” oops that came off rude, Baekhyun inwardly cringed, he only meant to ask who the other person was. The first thing he noticed was that the stranger had pretty eyes, it was big, almost like a fish, but it was pretty nonetheless and had a certain innocence in it, and his big ears- of course it was hard to miss. “You have really pretty eyes,” another big shit, why did his mouth start blabbering rubbish at someone he hadn’t met before. “Wow, thanks for the compliment I guess, I’m Chanyeol, Park Chanyeol, and we have our music class together, that’s how I know who you are.” Chanyeol smiled, it wasn’t a big eye smile, but it was kind of goofy and it gave him the image of a child that took away all the intimidating feeling about him. Baekhyun eased a little looked at him, he was suddenly feeling all kinds of butterflies, “you are cute”, huh? Baekhyun cringed at himself again, his mind seems like it got its own brain today, it was uttering whatever it wanted. “I’m sorry, I-” Baekhyun opened his mouth to apologize for his stupid behavior but Chanyeol just shook his head. “No, Baekhyun I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called you cute when we just met.” Nodding, Baekhyun sighed in relief, at least it wasn’t his stupid mouth. But wait, WHAT? Did this new guy just call him cute!? He stared at the stranger-dude-whose-name-was-Park-Chanyeol in a dumbfounded way to which chanyeol just laughed and walked away, leaving him feeling more stupid than before._

 

The Baekhyun in the present day grunted and took off his earphones in annoyance. He clearly knew what was the reason he was feeling down lately. It’s because of the change in seasons. Rainy season was almost coming to an end which meant winter nearing, and which meant he was nearing the time which he desperately wanted to avoid. Winter along with it brought coldness and a feeling of pessimism to Baekhyun, and it also brought with it memories of days he wished never happened.

In life we meet all kinds of people, some cute and nice, some cute and assholes. But what if we can’t differentiate between the two? It’s not like they have the nice and asshole tag on themselves for us to see. And that’s how everyone makes the mistakes of letting the wrong persons enter their lives, it’s actually our fault for not being able to see them for what they are. Baekhyun sighed for what it felt like the thousand time today, why was he even thinking about what had happened in the past? It wasn’t like he was going to rewind time to two years back, before the worst winter happened in his life. It wasn’t like he could ever change his fate, so he never had to meet Chanyeol. When he couldn’t change anything, who was he to live like he was about to give up on life any moment, instead he should be thankful that he was alive, that he got another chance to relive his life. And he was thankful, and trying his best to enjoy everyday, to live his best as much as he could. But memories? Do they ever fade? They kept clinging onto his mind the more he wanted to forget, and it never helps that wherever he goes makes him remember the one who is best forgotten. Baekhyun snapped back to reality when he felt the water droplets roll down his face. No it wasn’t the rain, his roof didn’t have any leakes. It took Baekhyun a moment to realize that he was actually crying. He bit down his lips and tried to hold back, but the vacant feeling in his chest grew stronger and made him choke in his own sobs. “I must have missed you, I didn’t know as I was so busy trying to forget you, but I think I must have missed you, a lot”, Baekhyun whispered in the empty room, in between his struggle to control his unstoppable tears. The moment he acknowledged this, it became too clear to him. The feeling of feeling nothing was because of him missing Chanyeol, because of him holding back his memories for so long.

 **_If I just walk for a while_ **  
**_And stop and turn around_ **  
**_I feel like you would be standing there like you did on_ **  
**_The day, it makes me cry_ **

And just like his realization the song in the background also changed, Baekhyun cursed at his choice of playlist tonight. Instead of trying to fall asleep, he kept thinking and rethinking about that day when he first met Chanyeol, and how much he wished he didn’t turn around when he was called. Maybe it would have been best, them not meeting, maybe it could have saved his heart from breaking into pieces. But all his wishes were in vein as the last tear dropped and he drifted finally into sleep, only to be welcomed by more smiling faces of Chanyeol in his dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, so this is it, also I'm pretty sure it doesn't make any sense. But kudos and comments are well appreciated so leave your thoughts ^^ ;
> 
> This work is completely from my imagination and I do not own any of the characters, it's simply a work of fiction. 
> 
> Wanted to publish this as a chaptered work, but i like it much better as a one shot, so the end :)


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